The way James Deen answers the phone—“Hel-lo”—like he’s been waiting all his life for us to call him, is so incredibly sexy that we started crafting sexts in our head before we asked him any questions at all.
The boy-next-door porn icon turned mainstream actor (he’ll play opposite Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons next month) has become something of a pinup for women and teenage girls who’d prefer to watch a cute dark-haired guy who looks like he could be working in the next cubicle rather than a grizzly, tan He-Man.
…Sorry, what were we talking about again? Ah, yes—sexting. Namely, How do I sext without embarrassing myself?
“There’s no right or wrong way to sext,” Deen says. “It is just a different form of foreplay and a flirtation…If you feel like you’re sexting, then you’re sexting.”
Here are a few pointers from Deen—some based on personal experience—for how to use your smartphone as the ultimate seduction tool.
Try romance + sexting = romexting! One hybrid term that Deen made famous is “pornoromance,” which takes clichés about love and tacks on a funny porn-y spin. (It’s even a Twitter hashtag; you can buy it emblazoned on a tank top at JamesDeenStore.com.) Deen suggests you pornoromance to the next level with sexting that’s in the same, ahem, vein.
“I’ve recently coined ‘romexting,’ where you write super-romance text messages, but they’re also sexy at the same time,” Deen says. “So like, ‘I love you so much, I just want to slap my dick on your face’…I think there should be some romance when it comes to dirty, disgusting text messages. Is that so wrong?”
Instead of a one-line sext, turn it into a full-blown play-by-play. “There was a lady in my life, and I would have her write out details of slutty experiences that she had,” he says. “It made me feel like I was there, so in my head I could almost run the story in my head and visualize everything that happens. That, I think, is the hottest stuff that I’ve gotten: full-on detailed descriptions of sexual encounters. It’s kind of like my own personal porno, which means a lot more.”
You can be sexy without sending naked pics. “Bras, cleavage, hands, pasties…There are ways not to show the entire boob,” Deen says.
Know your nudie pictures will probably make the rounds. “As a rule, if you put your naked body out in the world, especially in the digital age, people are going to see it,” Deen says. “So even if it’s just you sending a personal picture for your boyfriend—you think your boyfriend is a really nice guy, but his friend who’s using his phone to, like, check his voicemail, he might not be a really nice guy. He might forward the message to himself, and he might put it up on the internet. There’s an infinite amount of possibilities of how it can get around.”
Don’t sext if you really don’t want to. “Just because Fifty Shades of Grey is out there and there’s a good amount to people in the world that are being stimulated by this erotic novel, doesn’t meant that everyone should go out and try tying themselves up or getting tied up and getting beaten and fucked,” Deen says. “If it appeals to somebody in their mind but not in actuality, then don’t do it.”